[NOTE: This blog post was written before this week’s events in the States and before our school’s transition to distance learning was extended an additional two weeks. I may have what to say about both in the week ahead, but at the risk of appearing tone deaf, I would like to share the following.]
I guess all the signs were there. The random Facebook posts about dog ownership (despite being allergic and never having owned a dog). Growing my hair out (and blaming it on COVID). Signing a second long-term contract (for the first time). Buying a house (for the second time). Something is clearly going on…
While it might seem reasonable that a midlife crisis – as I creep closer to 50 – is in the cards, the truth is that something truly is going on. Seeds that were planted over twenty years ago are finally coming to flower, as I prepare to embark on a journey that will hopefully not only make me a better head of school, but a better Jew and a better person. I am pleased to share that I have been granted acceptance to the Rabbinical School at the Academy for Jewish Religion, and with the full support of my Board here at the Ottawa Jewish Community School, I will begin my SLOW journey toward becoming a rabbi.
Why do I want to study to be a rabbi? Why now? Why AJR? And, most importantly for current and prospective OJCS families, how will it impact my work as a Jewish day school head of school?
My passion for inspiring Jewish children and families to love and choose Jewish has only deepened during my years in the field, as has my desire to study. The job of “day school head” is complex, but offers lots of opportunities for teaching, speaking, engaging, and constructing experiences – all of which I believe will be richer and more impactful when I have a more rigorous foundation in Tanakh/Talmud/Rabbinics, Theology, Philosophy and Liturgy. I certainly have a background in those topics from my prior graduate school experiences, but not to the degree that I would prefer. I believe that I will be a more empathetic and effective leader (and person) with pastoral training. Additionally, I simply enjoy the process of serious text study and have yearned for additional opportunities to engage in torah lishmah (roughly “learning for learning’s sake”).
I am choosing to do this at AJR not just for practical concerns (the ability to do it part-time and at a distance), but from my research and my experience, I see AJR as a place where I can learn and grow in a community of like-minded travelers, led by clergy and professors from whom I will be honored to learn with and grow from. I will be starting slowly, with just one course at a time, until I get my bearings and a sense of my bandwidth. There are a lot of courses I can take outside the school day, but there will be courses in the future that I will have to take during the school day as well. My commitment to the Board and to the School is that my work at OJCS will always come first. I may need to work harder/differently in order to keep all the balls in the air, but I understand what and where my priorities lie.
My desire to go to rabbinical school at this stage of life is not about my career path and more about my career writ large. The long and the short of it is that I believe that in becoming a rabbi, I will be a better and more effective Jewish educator, which is my life’s calling. I believe that in becoming a rabbi, I will be a better person and a better Jew, which is my soul’s calling.
My first class begins in a couple of weeks and I am enjoying the butterflies it is bringing. It feels good to put myself outside my comfort zone and inside a student’s mindset once again. I look forward to sitting at the kitchen table and doing my Jewish Studies homework alongside my children.
I will certainly have lots of opportunity to share my rabbinical journey as it unfolds and since it took me 8 years to get my doctorate, we will have plenty of time for me to answer the question I have gotten most frequently in recent weeks: “Will you be Dr. Rabbi or Rabbi Dr.?” For now, I am simply looking forward to making a good first impression on my classmates and my teacher on the first day of school.
Wish me luck!