Category: Community Building

We have been engaged in a yearlong investigation into how to address the difficult issue of bullying in our school and in all the schools of our synagogue.  I explained the rationale and the plan here in September in a blog post entitled “Sticks and Stones”.  The mantle was taken up by Rabbi Jesse Olitzky in a powerful blog post here, entitled “Sacred Space is Safe Space”.  The next step in the process was performing an institutional assessment for all students in our schools in Grades 2-12.

We surveyed students in Grades 2- 4 in both the Martin J. Gottlieb Day School and the Bernard & Alice Selevan Religious School, using a pencil and paper instrument chosen particularly for that grade range.  A series of questions about verbal, physical and emotional acts experienced by students and performed by students were asked to measure the degree to which our students feel safe and protected.  Questions were also asked about faculty and staff to measure the degree to which students feel their teachers are available and prepared to act on their behalves.

It is not a perfect survey and it was not proctored perfectly.  It is, however, a starting point.  Issuing the survey on a yearly basis should give us something to measure the degree to which we are succeeding in changing the culture of our schools.  I would like to share just two results from the survey to start the conversation.

By the by, the schools graded out well.  Although, it is difficult to suggest that any degree of failure is acceptable.  The area where students self-reported the greatest degree of negative behaviors came not in the physical or the verbal.  It came in peer exclusion.

This graph reports that 35% of students in Grades 2-4 in both schools feel they have been purposely been excluded by their peers.  No other area of the survey scored anywhere near this high.  This is an indication, to me, that when it comes obvious acts of harm – we are largely successful (although complete elimination is required).  However, when it comes to the much more subtle, but equally painful act of social exclusion, we have work to do.  Let’s add context by examining students’ perceptions of their teachers.

Again, the percentages look good.  The overwhelming response is that by and large students believe their teachers are available to help and support.  However, the fact that we have ANY students who believe their teachers would NEVER be there to help is unacceptable to us.  It is not a perfect survey and I am sure there are margins of error included.  But when it comes to creating a safe and sacred space for our children there can be no margin of error.

And so the difficult work of institutional change moves forward.  (Results from the other surveys are forthcoming.)

Based on the data (not merely this survey, but disciplinary records, communication with parents, teachers, students, clergy, etc.) we believe we have to change the conversation. “Anti-bullying” (to us) means that we wait for bullying behaviors to take place and then act appropriately when they do.  That is a defensive posture that admits these behaviors are inevitable and the goal is damage control.  We can do better.

We need to build and grow a Community of Kindness.  Instead of waiting for something bad to happen and respond, we need to go on the offensive with an all-out assault of lovingkindness.  We need to recognize that only by becoming a community of kindness can we truly eliminate bullying and hurtful behavior within our walls.

This is much harder to achieve, but there are no quick fixes.  All the surveys, assemblies, and teacher trainings in the world cannot get us there by themselves.  On that all the research agrees.  We are going to have to do the hard work of changing the culture one student, one teacher, one family, one act at a time.  It is just as much the work of the office staff as it is the National Junior Honor Society.  It has to happen on Sunday mornings in the Religious School carpool line and on Wednesday afternoons in the Day School lunchroom.

I am issuing a call to all my colleagues in the field: We have established “Communities of Practice” (CoP’s) for just about every aspect of running a school – Development, Admissions, Educational Technology, etc., in order to share and grow best practice.  I think in an age where the click of a button can do irreparable harm, we would be well-served with a CoP for Kindness.  Where better than in Jewish schools to ensure students a culture built on kindness?

We will be creating a series of 2-minute videos on this topic to stimulate conversation and begin the movement.  I encourage parents, teachers, clergy, community members, colleagues and friends to make your own and share.  There’s nothing more important and there’s no reason to wait.  It begins now.

These are heady times for our school.  The inevitable anxiety and excitement of the open enrollment period.  The gathering rush of a 50th Anniversary weekend.  The powerful reflection through impending re-accreditation.  The tidal wave that is becoming edJEWcon.

I write a lot.

And when I do, I tend to use lots of words. This is not so very different from how I speak.

And I speak a lot.

A lot of my speaking comes with the position and some of it from my natural proclivity to be wordy.  (Anyone familiar with this blog or with me is likely nodding their head.)

One side effect of producing so many words – and between conversations, emails, blogs, letters, etc. I put out into the universe a lot of words – is that you run the risk of losing the forest of what matters most through trees of verbiage.

The blogging platform lends itself to endless writing for those so inclined.  One interesting (and almost poetic) byproduct of Twitter is that it forces a 140-character structure onto the writer.  As someone who cannot text in anything less than complete words, sentences, proper capitalization, grammar, etc., Twitter becomes an exercise in self-discipline.  I almost never get the first or second tweet to fit the space and I wind up having to edit and edit to get a thought down to its essence.

With two liminal rites of passage to celebrate this weekend (our annual Kindergarten Shabbat Service & Dinner on Friday and our First Grade Consecration on Shabbat) in the heart of all the planning for the major events to come, I want to take a moment and engage in what I hope will be a collaborative exercise.  Beginning here, I am going to encourage y’all to express #WhatMattersMost about @MJGDS and @JewishDaySchool.

[I am putting it “Twitter-speak”  both for those who already utilize Twitter AND to use Twitter to solicit responses.  I am going to offer some of my own thoughts here.  I am also going to tweet out the request.  And I encourage you to add your own 140-character suggestions either on Twitter using the #WhatMattersMost OR as comments to this blog post.  I will update the post with responses I receive (both from our school and the field) from Twitter.]

#WhatMattersMost @MJGDS from @Jon_Mitzmacher

Each child deserves a floor, but no ceiling…

No one will know your child better or work harder for their success than we will.

We may not get it right the first time, but we will partner with parents until we do.

The audience for student work was once the teacher; now it is the world.

21st Century Learning is not a slogan, it is a revolution.

The future of education is happening at a Jewish day school.

Having a child with special needs should never

preclude an inclusionary Jewish day school education.

A parent should never have to choose between the

best secular education and Jewish day school.

We are proud of our graduates, not because of what they

know and what they can do, but because of who they are.

Your turn!

I have learned a lot of important lessons over the last month.  One of those lessons?  It is very easy to espouse “transparency” as a value when things are going well and/or when the issues are simple and non-controversial.  It is another thing altogether when things are more complex, risky and deeply personal.  As a complicated episode in my professional life has played out over the last few weeks, I have felt compromised between my professional desire for transparency and my personal desire for privacy.  I have struggled with the decision about whether or not it was appropriate to utilize this “professional” blog – property of the school, not the person – to discuss events which have had a profound impact on not just me, but my family.  With the episode (thankfully) resolved, it just did not seem right to pretend that it never happened (by its absence in my primary vehicle for reflective practice, this blog).  

[I realize that although the primary audience for this blog was and is the school family, there is an extended readership who may or may not be interested in some of its content. I try to manage those potential audiences through how I do (or don’t) promote the blog via social media.  Another side-effect of “transparency”?  If the boundaries were semi-permeable before, they sometimes feel as if they have disappeared altogether.  I’m not sure this is a good thing, but it feels like the truth.]

The facts are relatively straightforward and have been public knowledge since November 1st.  An unanticipated opportunity to compete as a finalist for the headship of Sinai Akiba Academy in Los Angeles, CA resulted in my exercise of an opt-out clause in my current contract.  My wife and I went to LA for our finalist visit and returned to Jacksonville. After meeting with my lay leadership here, I withdrew my candidacy for the position at Sinai Akiba and have renewed my commitment to remain here at MJGDS.

It seems so simple when you write it like that!

Both institutions handled this delicate situation with tremendous grace and with incredible transparency.  A series of public meetings here in Jacksonville with all concerned constituencies (parents, faculty, boards, etc.) resulted in the formation of a search committee charged with seeking out my replacement (since closed).  My candidacy in Los Angeles was a matter of public record on the school’s website and my finalist visit was conducted openly as all such visits are.

Needless to say, the situation left me (and my family) rather exposed on all sides.  That it was self-imposed did little to dull the piercing spotlight the month of November has brought to us.  Again, let me clear.  The choices were mine.  The responsibility for them was mine.  And the situation could not have been handled any more professionally or compassionately by everyone.  But I would be lying if I suggested that it also was not deeply and personally stressful.  It was, in fact, agonizing.

As I said to the search committee for Sinai Academy when I withdrew…

“…I write to officially notify you of my decision to renew my commitment here in Jacksonville, thus withdrawing my candidacy from Sinai Akiba.  I thank you all for your hospitality, your warm welcome, and the opportunity to have been a finalist.  I am confident with lay leaders like yourself and the high quality of your other candidates that only bright days lay ahead for Sinai Akiba.  I look forward to following your success and working with your next head as a fellow Schechter colleague.

Thank you again for the time and care you put into my candidacy.”

I have nothing, but positive things to say about Sinai Akiba Academy.  We met lovely people during our visit and our desire for their continued success is genuine.  But our decision and our future is here – at the Martin J. Gottlieb Day School, the Jacksonville Jewish Center and in Jacksonville, Florida.  And for that we are thankful.

We have barely begun to write a chapter in the book of the life of this remarkable school which turns 50 this spring.  The idea of leaving so much exciting work undone certainly contributed to my professional desire to continue as head of this school.  It has been a dynamic and satisfying year and a half since we came here, but the “job” of becoming the school we wish to be is hardly “done” (if such a thing in an organic learning organization could ever be accomplished)!  We have so many exciting projects in the near and long-term future. [I don’t want to use this post to re-list all the initiatives and ideas that are in progress or fomenting.  A quick scroll through this blog or our school’s website provides a thorough recap.]  I couldn’t imagine not being part of them.  And I am thankful that I don’t have to.

But more than the work are the people…

…as I wrote to my teachers last week:

“As we enter into a holiday week, let me take a moment to express my gratitude to all of you for the opportunity to be part of this team.  As you know, it has been a topsy-turvy few weeks for me (and for everyone) as events unfolded, but it is with genuine humility that I tell you that a most significant factor in wanting to remain here is the opportunity to continue to work together to make this the finest, most innovative, highest-quality school it can possibly be.  I come to work each day excited about what we can accomplish together.  I am thrilled to have the chance to continue this journey with you and look forward to brighter and brighter days ahead.”

And I gladly extend those thoughts to this entire community – parents, students, colleagues, communal partners, etc.

So as we head into Thanksgiving tomorrow…let me express how joyously thankful I am for the blessings in my life:  The blessing of a healthy family.  The blessing of a caring community.  The blessing of blossoming friendships.  The blessing of fulfilling work.  The blessing of committed and generous lay leaders and volunteers.  The blessing of extraordinary colleagues.  The blessing of dedicated and talented staff and faculty.  The blessing to have an opportunity to work each and every day with others to ensure a Jewish future.  The blessing to feel one’s roots dig a little deeper into sacred ground.

For these blessings and more, I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Yesterday morning, my first grader, Eliana, woke up early to come into our room to make extra sure that we had remembered to put her MJGDS Marlins shirt in her day-of-the-week clothes organizer because she had to wear it for spirit day.

Each time I passed her in the hallway, she reminded me that I was to get her out of aftercare in time for her to watch the big game.

When I came to pick her up in aftercare to walk her over to the gym, she (and her 3-year old sister) was so excited she flew out of the room.

Eliana had never seen, nor probably heard, of “volleyball” prior to yesterday’s first home game in school history.  Didn’t matter a whit.  She had spirit.

And she was not alone!  We had an overwhelming amount of students, parents, alumni and supporters in attendance to share in history.  We won the first (of three) game and as we drew closer to the clinching point, you would have thought we were about to win the Final Four, not the first game of a girls middle school volleyball match!

I blogged last week, here, about the value of athletics in the (small) Jewish day school after our first road game.  The energy yesterday afternoon,  however, took things to exponential levels.  It really proves the point; in terms of rallying school spirit, it is really hard to top athletics.  And school spirit is not insignificant.  It is not as important as academic achievement, inculcating Jewish values, and developing character.  But in terms of that intangible “something” that gives you pride in being part of something larger than yourself and encourages you to want your children to be part of something special?  It is hard to put your finger on it, but you can kind of tell when you’ve got it or when you don’t.  And heading into another sweet Jewish new year…we’ve got it!

In other updates, we went live this week with edJEWcon and our first application from another Schechter Network Day School came in within the first few hours!  We have been utilizing our social media and with the Network’s social media roll-out to begin soon, the buzz on the event will only continue to grow.  (For continuing updates on the conference, click here.  For background information on edJEWcon, click here.)  So when it comes to 21st century learning, MJGDS certainly has spirit as well.

Heading into Rosh Hashanah this evening feels this year to me like slipping into a comfortable, warm bath.  I have a wonderful opportunity to put workaday concerns aside and concentrate on making meaningful use of the gifts of time, family and friends.  After relying on the kindness of the community last year, Jaimee and I are blessed to be able to open up our home to new friends this year.  We are looking forward to days of communal meals, honest reflection and creating Jewish memories to carry us forward into 5772.

From my family to yours, let me wish everyone the sweetest of new Jewish years…

Shanah tova u’metukah,

Jon, Jaimee, Eliana & Maytal

Let’s begin with a hearty “Mazel tov” to Coach Jared Goldman and the MJGDS Lady Marlins Volleyball team on their historic first match this past week at Hendricks Middle School!  (Check out this article in our local news here!)

Our school turns fifty years old this year and this was the very first athletic adventure we have ever embarked on.  The final score mattered not a whit (and, yes, we did score points as well) – the excitement from the student-athletes, their parents, alumni, and supporters who packed the tiny parking lot and bleacher seats was palpable and meaningful.  Our girls did their best and will only perform better as they grow more experienced and practiced in their sport.  [Local plug: First home game in MJGDS history takes place in the gym on Tuesday, September 27th at 4:30 PM.  Wear your Marlins gear and come out to support our team!]

So as one of my favorite sports shows would ask, is launching middle school athletics at our K-8 Schechter Day School a “big deal, little deal, or no deal at all?”

Big deal!

First let’s look at it from the perspective of the participants.  Let me quote (liberally) from “Co-Curricular Physical Activity and Sport Programs for Middle School Students: A Position Statement by the National Association for Sporty and Physical Education’s (NASPE) Middle and Secondary School Physical Education Council (MASSPEC).”  [That is a mouthful!  You can read the entire position statement here.]:

“All students should be encouraged to participate in such after-school programs regardless of their ability and prior experience with organized sports. The primary purposes of these programs are to provide opportunities for students to:

1. improve self-esteem and feelings of competence through positive interactions with their peers and adults
2. acquire new skills and refine those previously learned
3. learn to function effectively as members of a team or group
4. improve personal health and fitness levels
5. to have fun and enjoy physical activity”

Those all sound like things we would like to see for our middle school students, no?

But beyond the benefits to the participants there are significant benefits to our school and our community worth mentioning.

Athletics are vitally important to our ability to maintain and grow a healthy middle school.  They demonstrate to ourselves and our parents that we are capable of providing the kinds of experiences one ought to find at the middle school level.  And that includes the opportunity to play, cheer and support athletics.  (I thought our alumni were as, or more, excited about the volleyball game than the players or their parents!)

Jewish Day Schools – especially the small or midsize ones – have a lot to get done.  We have to offer 100% the secular academic programs of local independent and/or suburban public schools.  We have to offer the highest-quality Jewish studies program available.  We have to offer all the resources of well-rounded schools – Art, Music, Library, 21st Century Learning, P.E., etc. AND we also have to offer athletics, the school play, the yearbook, TV production, and all the other extracurriculars.

Fair?

Doesn’t matter.  It isn’t a choice.  Non-orthodox day schools heading into middle (and high) school face enormous attrition challenges.  We have to find the “torah” of volleyball as we do the “torah” of math (not to mention the “torah” of the actual Torah).  We, at our school, have dipped our first toe in the water.  It certainly isn’t easy finding sports we have a critical mass to compete in, but based on the energy it has brought to our school and our community it was well worth it.

We may not be hanging any championship banners from our gym any time soon.  But we will be adding great spirit and community-building to our school when we host the first home game in the school’s 50 year history next week.

Go Marlins!