Aren’t All Jewish Day Schools “Community” Schools?

Aren’t all Jewish Day Schools “Community” Schools?

Extended preamble…

Some blog posts evolve into academic mini-treatises with ample hyperlinking both for proper crediting and to stimulate further learning.

Some blog posts are born from a passionate feeling and sometimes read like opinion pieces.

Other blog posts are confessional and lead to catharsis (for me) or humanizing (of me).

The blog posts that are the hardest to write – as we are about to discover – are the ones that are born from a genuine question and a desire to solicit a crowdsourced response. Not to drive traffic to my blog or raise my social media profile. But because I am sincerely interested in learning from my colleagues, stakeholders, readers and friends. I am grappling with a difficult question and I am interested in serious, thoughtful, diverse and challenging answers to help me develop an authentic answer (for me).

The reason these posts are the hardest to write is that within the world of education, and the Jewish educational world even more so, the blogosphere is still largely populated by lurkers. You are out there and you are reading blogs (which is great), but you do not (yet) feel comfortable contributing to the talmudic chain of commentary that makes blogging so wonderfully Jewish and potentially valuable. I learn some through the process of writing, to be sure, but I learn a ton through the process of collaborating with you through the commentary.

Let’s make a game of it and let’s aim big. The 20th comment received will receive a prize from me. That means you have to encourage others to comment as well so you can position yourself as number 20. Let’s go for it!

End of extended preamble…

What is a “Community Day School”?

[NOTE: I am PURPOSELY NOT looking up and sharing definitions nor visiting RAVSAK (the Community Day School Network) for answers. Not because I don’t think their answers are the correct ones. They probably are. But because how people – not just people, Heads of School, Board Chairs, Foundations, Donors, – understand what those words mean is at the crux of what I have been thinking about.]

Stuff I Think I Believe:

“Community” and “Pluralism” are not necessarily the same thing but they are sometimes used interchangeably.
Every Jewish day school thinks of itself in terms of creating community, being a community for its students and parents, being a healthy part of the larger Jewish community it lives in, and has an increasingly religiously diverse student population for whom it tries to craft an inclusive nonjudgmental religious community.
To say that a PARDES, Schechter, YU or Orthodox day school is “ideological” and a RAVSAK or Community Day School is “non-ideological” feels like a false dichotomy.

That’s probably controversial enough for now.

I know more about Schechter than anything else and I have firsthand experience heading a Schechter in a Jewish community where it served and serves as the non-Orthodox Jewish day school. It has a diverse student population with levels of Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, unaffiliated, secular Israeli, etc., that are commensurate to many other Schechter schools and, to my understanding, many Community Day Schools.

In terms of Jewish ritual and practice, it looks and feels very much in the “center”. This, too, is similar to many “community day schools” where the “center” is the natural compromise between the various religious communities who make up its population.

Yes, in some cases the driver for Schechter’s center approach is a commitment to Conservative Jewish practice. Yes, in some cases the driver for a Community Day School’s center approach is a commitment to compromise or accommodation. But there are also cases where the reverse is true in both settings and lines remain ever-blurry.

More Stuff I Think I Believe:

There are Orthodox, Conservative and Reform day schools who are explicitly NOT Community Day Schools. They typically thrive in communities with large enough Jewish populations to sustain multiple schools with more targeted religious purposefulness.
There are Orthodox day schools who are Community Day Schools (either by self-defnition or RAVSAK affiliation or both).
There are Reform day schools who are Community Day Schools (ditto).
If Orthodox and Reform day schools can be ideologically-identified and still labeled “Community”…why not Schechter? [Fact: There are Schechter schools who define themselves as both. There are already Schechter day schools who are Community Day Schools.]
There are also Community Day Schools who live and breathe a mission-driven pluralism that is clearly nondenominational or post-denominational or trans-denominational. Whether you want to call “pluralism” an ideology in its own right is a fair question, but the point here is to acknowledge that there are absolutely Community Day Schools whose approach to Jewish living and learning is mission-driven and clearly not Reform, Conservative or Orthodox. It wouldn’t be fair to leave that out.

Here’s why it matters to me.

It is no secret that in recent years there have been a number of Schechter schools who have explored changing their official affiliation status from “Schechter” to “Community”. In a few cases this has genuinely been about a purposeful, mission-driven decision to change the way Judaism lives and breathes and/or to change dramatically the rigor and commitment to Jewish Studies for whatever reason. In many cases, however, the exploration is born from a feeling or hope that by changing their external status it will somehow cause a spike in enrollment or fundraising because it is signaling that the school is now of and for the community in a way that it wasn’t or couldn’t be as a “Schechter”.

This perception remains despite the data proving that the former is not true and the fact that Schechter schools can be and often are as “of and for the community” as any other kind of school.

Changing one’s affiliation status without any corresponding change to mission does a disservice to affiliation by rendering it a business equation. It reduces “Schechter” to a caricature and “Community” to a strategy. It denies both the full meaning of their philosophies and confuses the marketplace.

It is also the case (see Jewish Montessori) that schools that don’t see themselves as “Schechter” by its narrowest definition are beginning to explore how they may fit in with “Schechter” by a more expansive understanding of what it means and has to say about Jewish education. And so the lines between schools and networks blur even more…

What does it all mean? For our schools and for the field? Aren’t all Jewish day schools “community” schools? And why does it matter anyway?

Don’t just talk amongst yourselves! Talk to me and to each other.

COMMENT. (Remember…20th comment gets a prize. Spam doesn’t count!)

Habits of Kindness: “Sharpen the Saw”

We introduced the LAST of our 7 Habits of Kindness this week at our monthly spirit day assembly!

When our school introduces a new Habit of Kindness, I take it upon myself to blog about the new Habit. (Last month was “Synergize“.) Beginning with the fifth Habit, we have been enlisting our Middle School to prepare and present the new Habit at a monthly spirit day assembly. (You can stay on top of all our Community of Kindness activities by checking out its blog.) They have been very creative! Each month’s introduction has typically come with a song or dance that tries to explain the Habit in a catchy way that will stick. Here’s what they came up with for “Sharpen the Saw”:

Here’s what it says from the “Leader in Me: 7 Habits for Kids” page:

Habit 7 — Sharpen The Saw

Balance Feels Best

I take care of my body by eating right, exercising and getting sleep. I spend time with family and friends. I learn in lots of ways and lots of places, not just at school. I find meaningful ways to help others.

You can see that our students reinterpreted the ways to “sharpen the saw” into being “Spiritually Fit”, “Mentally Fit”, and “Physically Fit”.

And we hopefully do our best to encourage all of those kinds of fitnesses in our school. Certainly being a Jewish day school provides plenty of opportunity for spiritual fitness, which is one of its many benefits. And unlike many or most public schools, we have managed to hold on to three-days-a-week PE, critical for fitness as childhood obesity continues to plague our youth. We do our best to offer healthy options with our hot lunch program, but do struggle with the amount of sugar and snacks that the many birthdays and holidays bring with them. This is something we plan to revisit next year.

Of course mental fitness goes along with schooling, but one advantage to being a leader in 21st century learning is that it provides tons of opportunity for kids to “learn in lots of easy and lots of places, not just at school”. We agree!

Part of my goal of blogging about the habits is not just to demonstrate how the school attempts to foster them, but to model my own attempts to foster them. So how am I doing?

Unfortunately, being a mourner has definitely enhanced and strengthened my spiritual fitness. This is something I blogged about recently with regard to my daily minyan attendance.

Mental fitness? If I reinterpret the language for children into workaday life, mental fitness here would mean that I find opportunities to learn outside what I am required to learn or think about to perform my job. For years (many years), my graduate work and my dissertation-writing were more than sufficient to ensure mental fitness. For the last couple of years? Outside of many robust games of Words with Friends, my mental fitness may be lacking! I love the opportunity Shabbat affords me to be with family and friends…they are also my only hours to read…would hate to have to choose between those two! And by the time my kids fall asleep on Friday nights..so have I. So I definitely need to “Be Proactive” and do some goal-setting for future mental fitness.

That leaves physical fitness…

So I recently had a birthday and with it, a physical. Now my wife and I share the same general practitioner and by the time my blood work had come back, my doctor decided to share it with her before sharing it with me. Which explains why I came home from work one day last week to find a variety of items awaiting me from a recent grocery trip:

Oatmeal. Tunafish. Whole grain bread. Fish Oil. Almonds.

So, apparently my meal plan from now until eternity is set! I will be eating oatmeal for breakfast, dry tunafish sandwiches for lunch, almonds for snacks and fish oil for supplements. I am two weeks in and hopefully soon I will adjust to the idea of never enjoying eating again…

In all seriousness, as someone who just lost a parent who waited (perhaps) too late to take diet and exercise seriously, I definitely am willing to sacrifice potato chips to live a long and healthy life. So, bring on the almonds!

Exercise. I do remember it. And I will absolutely “Put First Things First” and prioritize getting my tuchus out of my office chair at work and couch at home and in motion on a more regular basis.

That’s how I plan on sharpening my saw…how about you?

Habits of Kindness: “Synergize”

First of all, it is hard to believe that we are already introducing the SIXTH Habit, “Syngergize”, because there are only seven…where did all the time go!

When our school introduces a new Habit of Kindness, I take it upon myself to blog about the new Habit. (Last month was “Seek first to understand, then to be understood“.) Beginning with the fifth Habit, we have been enlisting our Middle School to prepare and present the new Habit at a monthly spirit day assembly. (You can stay on top of all our Community of Kindness activities by checking out its blog.) They have been very creative! Each month’s introduction has typically come with a song or dance that tries to explain the Habit in a catchy way that will stick. Here’s what they came up with for “Syngergize”:

I don’t have video so you will have to supply your own tune (hmmm…that could be a fun contest for the future), but I can assure you that it was appropriately catchy!

Here’s what it says from the “Leader in Me: 7 Habits for Kids” page:

Habit 6 — Synergize

Together Is Better

I value other people’s strengths and learn from them. I get along well with others, even people who are different than me. I work well in groups. I seek out other people’s ideas to solve problems because I know that by teaming with others we can create better solutions than anyone of us can alone. I am humble.

What I would like to do is take this line by line and offer a little midrash via hyperlink about why I think “synergize” has such great…ummm…synergy for a school like ours.

“I value other people’s strengths and learn from them.”

As we have documented our 21st century learning journey over the last four years, one thing that has consistently been borne true, has been that learning is no longer (if it ever was) about transferring knowledge from an adult to a child. One thing that I treasure about our school is the commitment our teachers have to lifelong learning and the willingness they have to learn not only from each other, but from their students.

“I get along well with others, even people who are different than me.”

Before we had chosen “Community of Kindness” as the initiative to ensure students feel welcome, protected, and loved within (and without) our walls, we had already made quite clear our desire to be an inclusive Jewish day school. Each student, of course, is different from every other student because each is unique. But we know that we – not just our school, but each of us – should be ultimately judged by how we treat “difference”.

“I work well in groups.”

One of the critical literacies for the 21st century is the ability to work well in “groups”. It is why we jumped early to adopt ideas from Alan November about the “digital learning farm” back in our earliest Skype-ortunities (thanks for the coinage Seth Carpenter!) we had students grouped to take ensure that everyone had a meaningful role to play and that students would have authentic opportunities to learn how to work together. It will be the rare job our students will grow up to perform, where working well with others will not be a key to success. It isn’t a skill you master in Kindergarten and then revisit in adulthood…it is an art form to be practiced daily so mastery ensues.

“I seek out other people’s ideas to solve problems because I know that by teaming with others we can create better solutions than anyone of us can alone.”

So unlike the above, which is ensuring that everyone on a team has unique role, here we really see collaboration in action; that by working with each other and learning from each other we will come up something better together than we could on our own. I cannot think of anything that reflects collaboration – between students, between students and teachers, and between schools and other organizations – better than our recently completed “Whack-A-Haman” project that reached its goal of 1,250 downloads ahead of Purim.

“I am humble.”

We teach our children that each is made in God’s image and that we ought to remember that when we interact with each other. Humility is critical to collaboration because it assumes an attitude that one does not know it all and that there is wisdom to be found in each and every one of us if we are only willing to look and to listen. One way we have embraced humility is in the transition from Parent-Teacher Conferences to Student-Led Conferences and from Teacher Observations to Teacher-Led Evaluations. In both cases we put the onus of responsibility on the learner to share growth rather than on the authority figure to ferret it out.

Next month we will finish up with “Sharpen the Saw”!

Habits of Kindness: “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.”

“Man was endowed with two ears and one tongue, that he may listen more than speak.” – Hasdai, Ben HaMelekh veHaNazir, ca. 1230, chapter 26

We introduced Habit #5 this week at our monthly “Habits of Kindness” assembly: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Our 8th Graders introduced the habit through skits and song and the essence of the habit seems to boil down to the ability to be a deep, active, empathetic listener. Therefore, many of the activities we will engage in this month will be to educate and encourage our students (and our teachers and our parents) to practice the skills of being better listeners.

This is actually something I blogged about a long time ago with regard to thinking through how we prepare our teachers for challenging conversations with parents. More recently, however, it is a topic that I actually have had the privilege of teaching to exceptional leaders in the day school school field through a program called YU Lead (part of the Yeshiva University Institute for University-School Partnership). It is the second year I have taught this module and each time, I have used similar prompts to facilitate fascinating conversations.

So what I thought I would do to inspire conversation here is to share the prompts and see what it…prompts!

The part that I want to share here was the part that was the most impactful to the students and was borrowed completely from a professional development session we did here with our faculty with Dr. Elliott Rosenbaum in preparation for an early round of Parent-Teacher Conferences in which he showed us the following examples of ineffective and effective communication:

This led, with our faculty, to a very productive conversation about listening that opened our eyes (or I guess, ears!) to a better way of interacting with the parents in our school.

When I use it for YU Lead, I ask the following question:

Compare and contrast “The Ineffective Physician” and “The Effective Physician”. What can we learn about the art of communicating difficult truths?

And to be fair, I ask the school people to read an article from a parent’s perspective called, “Help! I Can’t Talk to My Child’s Teacher!” by Domeniek Harris.

And then I ask the following questions:

What new ideas about parent-school partnerships has this conversation raised for you?
How will these new ideas impact your current practice?
What new ideas about parent communication has this conversation raised for you?

And I then spend the rest of the week, mediating a conversation between these rising professionals on these topics and wherever these topics take us…

So…I invite you to check out the clips, read the article, and share how you think our school – its teachers, students and parents – can do a better job to embody the habit of “seek first to understand, then to be understood”!

The Transparency Files: Homework Wars II – The Homework Strikes Back

In late November, I blogged about what was then a pending conversation our faculty was going to have in order to revisit and realign our school’s homework philosophy with our learning target. In that post, I suggested some likely ideas that I imagined would make their way in based on all the work we have done these last few years making our beliefs about teaching and learning more explicit.

We introduced the project at the December Faculty Meeting in a really interesting way. One member of our 21st Century Learning Team, randomly went onto class blogs and picked homework assignments that were then presented to the faculty to open the meeting. The question was then asked: “How long do you think this assignment ought to take the ‘typical’ students in this grade?”

The results were clarifying to say the least. Just about each assignment – regardless of grade level or subject – was estimated to take anywhere between 5-40 minutes!

So if our own teachers couldn’t agree about how long an assignment ought to take our students to complete, imagine how our parents and students feel!

This was a great introduction into a conversation about revising and articulating our school’s homework philosophy. Unlike other decisions in our school, I made it clear to faculty that although they would have input, the ultimate decision would be mine. [In our school we peg decisions on a hierarchy of decision-making. Some decisions they make with my input. Some decisions I make with their input. Some decisions require consensus. Some decisions are made democratically. And so on. I find it helpful to make this transparent to teachers so expectations are clear and there are no unnecessarily hurt feelings.] They were given the month to provide me with feedback to a draft similar to that which was in my blog on this issue. I was then to report back at our January Faculty Meeting what the new “MJGDS Homework Philosophy & Guidelines” were to be.

And so I did.

The following was disseminated to our faculty last week…

MJGDS Homework Philosophy & Guidelines

I. Introduction

II. Philosophy

III. General Homework Principles

IV. Homework Guidelines in Elementary Grades

V. Homework Guidelines in Middle School Grades

VI. Characteristics of Effective Homework Practice

VII. Parent, Student, Teacher, and Administration responsibilities

VIII. Implementation Strategy [To Be Created]

I. Introduction

The purpose of the MJGDS Homework Policy is to provide guidelines for teachers, provide for consistency through the grades, and to educate parents who have questions about homework. A school policy regarding homework, along with clear expectations for teachers as to what constitutes good homework, can help to strengthen the benefits of homework for student learning.

This policy addresses the purposes of homework, amount and frequency, and the responsibilities of teachers, students, parents, and administrators.

The MJGDS Homework Policy is based on research regarding the correlation between homework and student achievement as well as best practices for homework.

II. Philosophy

The philosophy at the Martin J Gottlieb Day School regarding K-8 homework is that homework should only be assigned that is meaningful, purposeful, and appropriate. Most learning will take place during the school day (accept when utilizing an explicitly “flipped pedagogy”. Homework will serve to deepen student learning and enhance understanding. Homework should be consistent with the schools “Learning Target” and strive to incorporate creativity, critical thinking, authenticity, and student ownership.

Legitimate academic purposes for homework include:

practicing a skill or process that students can do independently but not fluently,
elaborating on information that has been addressed in class to deepen students’ knowledge,
enabling students to finish classwork that they were unable to complete in class, and
providing opportunities for students to explore topics of their own interest.

Non-academic purposes for homework, particularly in K-3, include:

developing better study habits and skills,
developing independent problem-solving skills and better time organization, and
greater parental appreciation of, and involvement in, schooling.

We understand today’s busy schedules and demands on parent and student time. Most learning is done in school, but like learning a foreign language or learning to read, reasonable and age-appropriate practice and repetition is exceptionally beneficial in certain subject areas. We also recognize that in a 21^st century learning institution the barriers between bounded times and spaces for learning are ever-shifting and, so, we remain flexible to new ways to provide our students with authentic opportunities to learn and to explore.
III. General Homework Guidelines for all Grade Levels

Homework is never to be used to teach a new skill (with the exception of explicitly “flipped pedagogy”).
Teachers are not required to assign homework.
Homework should not exceed more than 10 minutes per grade level per night for the average student (not including reading).
Homework should be purposeful and meaningful to students. Legitimate purposes for homework include practicing a skill or process that students can do independently but not fluently, elaborating on information that has been addressed in class to deepen students’ knowledge, and providing opportunities for students to explore topics of their own interest.
Reading is an integral part of learning and is a consistent part of homework.
Practicing second-language skills is consistent part of homework in a bilingual school.
Homework will reflect the accommodations and modifications of curriculum that is stated in a student’s modified program.
Assigning homework over holidays is highly discouraged.

IV. Homework Guidelines in Elementary Grades (K-5)

In elementary grades, with the exception of reading and being read to, there is little proven correlation between homework and achievement.

In the primary grades (K-3), homework should consist primarily of reading plus a limited number of independent exercises to reinforce previously taught basic skills.
Except for reading, homework at the elementary level should not be assigned over weekends, holidays, or extended school breaks.
At the upper grades (4-5), homework consists of completing, practicing, preparing, or extending core academic skills and is designed to build independent study habits.
Long-term assignments should be limited in number and duration. Project based assignments should primarily be undertaken and completed in the classroom. These tasks should not require significant assistance from parents or costly materials. These assignments should include clear checkpoints to monitor progress toward completion.

V. Homework Guidelines in Middle School Grades (6-8)

Homework should be assigned during the school week on a regular basis.
Teachers should coordinate scheduling of tests and projects.
Long-term assignments at the middle grades should be limited in number and duration. These assignments should include clear checkpoints to monitor progress toward completion. All deadlines must be posted on the class blog.
When assigning group projects, teachers should allow in-class collaboration time with specific tasks to be completed independently; however, these tasks should not require significant assistance from parents or costly materials.
Except for reading, homework at the middle school level should not be assigned over weekends, holidays, or extended school breaks.
Bear in mind that middle school students preparing for their b’nei mitzvot are spending 10 minutes per night during the year leading up to their b’nei mitzvot and more than that in the month prior.

VI. Characteristics of Effective Homework
This section addresses practices to help increase the benefits of homework while minimizing potential problems. Homework is more effective when…

the purpose of the homework assignment is clear. Students should leave the classroom with a clear understanding of what they are being asked to do and how to do it.
it does not discourage and frustrate students. Students should be familiar with the concepts and material (unless it is taught in an explicitly “flipped” pedagogy, i.e. Math).
it is on a consistent schedule. It can help busy students and parents remember to do assignments when they are consistent. (Of course, it must be necessary and not just because “it’s Wednesday”.)
it is explicitly related to the class-work.
it is engaging and creative.
part of the homework is done in class.
it is authentic.
feedback is given. Follow-up is necessary to address any comprehension issues that may arise.
it is differentiated.
it reviews past concepts to help retention over the course of the year.

VII. Responsibilities

Students are responsible for:

ensuring understanding of the homework and asking for clarification or help when needed
regularly completing assigned homework in a timely manner
managing time by staying focused, on task, and planning effectively for long term projects
bringing home all necessary materials
putting forth their best effort to produce quality work
completing or making up missed assignments and tests if required by the teacher.

Parents/Guardians are responsible for:

being an advocate for their child, while encouraging the child to advocate for himself/herself
encouraging reading at all grade levels
providing an appropriate environment, including necessary supplies, for homework to be done
providing a healthy balance between homework, extra and co-curricular activities, and family commitments
contacting the teacher if their child is not consistently able to do the homework by himself/herself within the time guidelines, or if challenges or questions arise

Teachers are responsible for:

sharing expectations for homework with students and parents early in the school year
designing homework assignments that clearly articulate their purpose and expected outcome, allowing for student questions and planning
providing timely feedback to students
ensuring any homework assigned is directly related to the classroom instruction and consists of clear, purposeful, and authentic activities
assigning homework that is appropriate and differentiated as needed
teaching the skills necessary for the students to complete the homework and become successful independent learners
being careful not to assign too much homework or homework that frustrates or discourages the students

Administrators are responsible for:

monitoring homework quality and quantity
communicating homework expectations with parents

VI. Implementation Strategies

And this section was – and still is blank.

Why?

Because this is the hard part! It is easy (ish) to write out a philosophy and guidelines. Putting it into practice in a way that is consistent and clear to all? That is hard work!

This is why we spent the last hour of our amazing Professional Day last Friday (after our EdCamp) meeting by division (Lower School General Studies, Lower School Jewish Studies & Middle School) to begin to develop an implementation strategy. Our goal is to finalize that implementation strategy in time for it to be included in all Parent Handbooks for the 2014-2015 school year. The conversations so far have been especially rich and I am looking forward to seeing how the project comes to conclusion.

Watch this space…

Habits of Kindness: “Think Win-Win”

This time we will let our 8th Grade introduce this month’s habit:

Like others of the 7 Habits, I am struck by the paradox of simplicity the habits create. “Think win-win” seems so simple, right? Yes, there are developmental examples where that not might be the case (thinking of my 5 and 8 year-old daughters) and, yes, there are issues that perhaps are not so easily resolved with two winners (someone has to win the basketball game). But as a philosophy? Sure – of course things are best if we viewed challenges as opportunities for everyone to win, not with an inevitable outcome of a winner and a loser. We might not always achieve a full “win-win”, but striving towards it will always yield a kinder result than “winner-takes-all”.

So instead of using this blog to highlight a personal or professional “win-win” of my own, I want to make a brief comment on the power of transferability utilizing the Habits of Kindness between home and school…

Our leadership team is presently reading The Leader in Me, which is the book that helps schools begin the journey of bringing the 7 Habits into the school. And as we have been reading, we are realizing the broader impacts, particularly the opportunity to strengthen the relationship between school and home. From Chapter 3,

“…observe that the same principles and approach being taught at these schools can also be taught at home. One of the great things about the leadership approach is what it is doing to enhance the parent-school partnership. For starters, it is bringing more parents into the schools to volunteer and support school and classroom activities. But even more important is what is occurring as students apply the principles to their daily tasks and behaviors at home. In other words, it is not just teachers who are reporting better behaviors and reduced discipline issues. Parents are reporting the same kinds of positive results. This is particularly true in families where parents have come to know the principles for themselves and have made conscious efforts to reinforce and teach them…If you are a parent, I promise that if you open your mind to it, you will have endless ideas of how you can apply what these educators are doing to your home.”

Excerpt From: Stephen R. Covey. “The Leader in Me.” iBooks. https://itun.es/us/NPFVw.l

Now that we are a few months in, I do actually see – as a parent – my children beginning to use the language. Eliana will say that she is “being proactive” or that she is “putting first things first” which has definitely allowed her to be better organized. Because we are currently working on “think win-win”, I am hopeful it will have a spillover to our family because I think this attitude could only help siblings navigate the everyday challenges of sharing time, people and stuff in a busy 21st century family.

I have shown examples from our school of how we are putting the Habits of Kindness into effect…

…if you are a parent at MJGDS or Galinsky Academy and you are seeing the impact at home, please offer a quality comment!

…if you are a parent or educator at another school who utilize the 7 Habits, please share your experiences with us so we can continue to improve our implementation here!

We’ll keep sharing our successes and struggles…and if you keep offering advice and feedback…well we just might achieve a “win-win” of our own!

Go to the Principal’s Office! You’ve Been “Caught Being Kind”!

Yesterday was a milestone “Community of Kindness” day at the Martin J. Gottlieb Day School. I had the distinct pleasure of speaking with two parents of students who had been sent to the principal’s office because they had been caught in the act of being kind.

We had our monthly faculty meeting earlier in the week and I reminded teachers that although I have often requested students be sent to me for committing acts of good behavior, no one had taken me up on it! Perhaps I had not explained myself well enough; perhaps people thought I hadn’t really meant it; or perhaps we had not yet evolved past the reactive putting out of behavioral fires to the proactive inspiration of behavioral lovingkindness. For whatever reason, something must have struck a cord because yesterday two different teachers referred students to my office who had been “caught being kind”.

The first referral came early in the day. A lower school boy had performed above and beyond during Art and so a note came down to my office letting me know. The teacher had to scribble over our typical referral note which only has a way for teachers to indicate misbehavior. Noticing that was a useful wakeup call. If we are going to take it seriously, then we have to institutionalize it. If we use referral notes for misbehavior…maybe we need referral notes for kind behavior.

How often to principals or heads of school get to call parents with good news?

I can assure you based on the parent’s reaction that the correct answer is, “Not often enough!”

If each time the school calls it is to inform the parent that their child has misbehaved (or is sick or forgot their lunch), one imagines that when the phone rings and the school’s phone number comes up in the “caller ID”, the parent is not exactly excited to pick up. But if just every now and again we are calling to let them know how proud we are of their child?

The second referral came near the end of the day from a Middle School Math Teacher. I received a note that a student in her class had acted with “extreme kindness” towards another student in the class. I managed to catch the student in carpool to shake his hand and let him know how proud I was of him before he headed home.

If every time you were sent to the “principal’s office” it was because you were in trouble, you probably wouldn’t want to be hanging out in that part of the building. And if a principal only spent his or her time with students referred for misbehavior, there would be a significant gap in relationships. That handshake in the parking lot meant as much to me as it did to the student I can assure you…

From our Fifth Grade:

“Caught Being Kind”

In 5th grade, we have two student “kindness ambassadors.” This is a job students for which students apply and receive a salary. The jobs switch approximately once a month.

Currently, our Kindness Ambassadors are Jagger and Jeremy, and they are doing a great job noticing kindness, as well as alerting teachers to issues so they can be nipped in the bud.

Here are two “caught being kind” photos taken and shared with me by the Kindness Ambassadors.

raising hand before speaking

Helping

As part of developing a spirit of leadership in our school as part of incorporating the 7 Habits, how wonderful would it be if each of our students – and our parent and teachers – held the additional title of “Kindness Ambassador”!

So I look forward to more students being sent to my office for the right reasons, to ensuring we focus on positively rewarding kind behavior as much, if not more, than applying consequences to unkind behavior, and that when the phone rings in the home of an MJGDS parent and the school comes up in the “caller ID” that the emotion it triggers is excitement and not dread. Pick up the phone when we call…your child may have been caught in the act of being kind!

Habits of Kindness: “Put First Things First”

It is a new month at the Martin J. Gottlieb Day School and that means…a new Habit!

Habits of Kindness has become our shorthand for how we are utilizing the “7 Habits” to approach our “Community of Kindness” initiative. As part of the first Habit, “Be Proactive”, I blogged about my commitment to blog each month about that month’s Habit and we spent August & September on the first Habit. October had us spending time on the second Habit, “Beginning With End in Mind”, and like many of our teachers and students, I created my own personal mission statement. (For ongoing information about our “Community of Kindness” program, please visit its blog…or even better, subscribe to it!)

November and December has us exploring the third Habit, “Put First Things First”.

There are 525,600 minutes in one year. However, when you consider that approximately 175,200 minutes of that time will be spent sleeping, 16,425 minutes spent eating, and if you’re a student, 72,000 minutes spent in school, you have less than half that total to spend on the rest of your life. Therefore, it is essential to do the important things first—if you leave them until last, you might run out of time.

You know how something is so obvious that you dismiss it?

That’s how I feel about this habit.

You have likely heard that song and/or seen that video numerous times in the past and you know that the moral of the story is to remember that your big rocks are your family and friends and to not get bogged down in the sands of workaholism.

So why did I get to work yesterday at 7:00 AM and come home at 9:15 PM?

Why do so many of us struggle with finding balance when we know where our true priorities lie?

I don’t have an answer…but I do have an opportunity! It just so happens that the theme of this year’s Day School Leadership Training Institute (DSLTI) Alumni Retreat – which is this Sunday-Tuesday – is on issues of health and wellness. I welcome the opportunity to share and reflect with colleagues about how we try to keep ourselves spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically prepared to passionately pursue our profession while remaining loving and present spouses, partners, parents, children and friends.

I look forward to updating this post next week.

And in the meanwhile, feel free to share your secrets via a quality comment on this blog!

UPDATED 12/13/13

I wish I could say I came back with a secret success to wellness. But I did come back with a commitment to take my wellness more seriously and that the only way to do that is to schedule wellness into my day. Exercise, sleep, eating well…we all know these are among the keys to wellness. Making them a priority is the trick. Here’s hoping when I re-read this blog post in a few months that I have put my time where my words are!

Martin J. Gottlieb Day School Middle School Retreat 2013 Part II – the iMovie

Martin J. Gottlieb Day School Middle School Retreat 2013 Part I – The Storify

Storify by
Jon Mitzmacher

Fri, Nov 08 2013 09:52:36

Martin J. Gottlieb Day School Middle School Retreat 2013 Part I – The Storify

Each year, we take our Middle School for a fall retreat at Camp Ramah Darom. We spend four days playing, praying, learning, adventuring and building community. This year our theme was "derekh eretz" and how to strengthen our Community of Kindness.