Jewish Education – Page 3 – A Floor, But Not a Ceiling

The Siddur is a Time Machine

Here are the words I shared with Kitah Alef this morning in celebration of their Kabbalat Ha’Siddur:

A morning like this inspires a few thoughts about time…

Jewish time is a dance between the straight line of temporal life and a circle of sacred moments. On the one hand we move from one rite of passage to the next; our children are born, they take their first steps, they speak their first words, they make their first friends, they attend their first day of school, and one day they receive their first siddur. On the other hand, we return and revisit waystations of meaning – Shabbat comes each week, Rosh Chodesh comes each month, holidays and festivals come each year – and each year Kitah Alef receives their first siddurim. For those of you for whom this is not your first Kabbalat Ha’Siddur you are sitting in both spaces – for your child it is the next stage of their trek through life; as a parent you are returning to a sacred family moment. I believe that part of the magic of living a Jewish life is to recognize and to celebrate when and where this line and this circle intersect.

One of our school’s North Stars is that “we are all on inspiring Jewish journeys” and the Kabbalat Ha’Siddur is a significant stop on a journey that began together under the chuppah on the first days of Junior and Senior Kindergarten. But by linking this moment to Tefillah – to prayer – we are teaching our children and, perhaps, reminding ourselves of an important idea. For all the reasons we can and do pray – to express gratitude, to connect to community, to be part of a chain in history, to offer petition, to engage in mindfulness, to talk to God, to take an opportunity to measure ourselves against our best selves, etc. – perhaps the idea that links them together is that it forces us to zoom out and appreciate the twin journeys a Jewish life represents. You are about to sing Adon Olam with your child on the day of his or her Kabbalat Ha’Siddur, using the Siddur our school gifts you, covered with the love you put into its decoration. You have likely sung Adon Olam before and will likely sing Adon Olam again. Those words will be the same. But you and your children will not. Adon Olam will forever be linked with this moment and who you were at this time.

We give our students – your children – the gift of a Siddur not to be a trophy, but to be a tool. And this tool will hopefully serve many purposes on the journey forward. But I also believe this Siddur is more than a tool for prayer literacy, it is also a compass, if not a time machine, for the Jewish journey of your children and your family. Each time you open it, you are everyone you were up until that point, with all the memories and experiences that came with you. You read the same words with different eyes and, thus, they elicit different meanings. When my daughters led services at their Bat Mitzvahs they used the siddurim they received in Kitah Alef. And when my older one goes off to university next year, she’ll add that siddur to her bookshelf.

My prayer for this class, and for you, is that the siddur we gift you today serves as a reminder of -and a guide for – the extraordinary and unpredictable Jewish journey ahead. A journey that our school is honoured to share whilst entrusted with the sacred task of educating this wonderful group of children. As we share our gift with you, thank you for the gift you have given us with your trust. Mazal tov to us and mazal tov to you.

“Remember” With Your Mouth; “Don’t Forget” In Your Heart

This week we commemorated Yom HaShoah – the day set aside on the Jewish Calendar for remembering (and not forgetting) the horrible events of the Holocaust. And we are urged Zachor! – Remember! – because it is understood that through remembrance we help ensure the other commonly used expression for this holiday, that events like the Holocaust are Never Again! – not just for the Jewish People, but for humanity. We must Not Forget! what took place.

I’ve always struggled with the curious distinction Judaism makes between the command “to remember” and the command “to never forget”. In Deuteronomy 25:17, we are commanded to “Remember what Amalek” did to the Israelites. In Deuteronomy 25:19, we commanded to both wipe out Amalek’s descendents and to “not forget” Amalek’s atrocities. Isn’t “remembering” and “not forgetting” the same thing? Why does the Torah choose different words for expressing the same idea?

And then I came across this explanation from the Mishneh Torah

מִפִּי הַשְּׁמוּעָה לָמְדוּ זָכוֹר בַּפֶּה לֹא תִּשְׁכָּח בַּלֵּב
The Oral Tradition teaches, ‘Remember’ with your mouths; ‘Don’t Forget’ in your hearts. – Mishneh Torah, Kings & Wars 5:5

According to this text, the difference between “remembering” and “not forgetting” isn’t definitional, it is pedagogical. And bearing witness to how our current students and alumni commemorated Yom HaShoah this week, in our school, in our community, and in Poland, reinforces once again the unique responsibility and opportunity Jewish day school represents in the lives of our students and families.

Our Grade 8s study the Holocaust as part of their curriculum, but it is not an exclusively academic pursuit. As part of the program, they regularly engage with survivors and the children of survivors throughout the year. That is infinitely more powerful than any one-time ceremony, but knowing that did not diminish the power of watching them participate in our community’s Yom HaShoah Commemoration on Monday night by helping facilitate the candle-lighting ceremony. While there, I bumped into a parent with both alumni and current students. She shared with me that her daughter, along with two other alumni in her grade, are currently on the March of the Living. She also shared that those three, all of whom had leadership roles in their small Jewish day school while in Grade 8, are poised to have leadership roles in their large secular private school while in Grade 11. She attributed both those developments – March of the Living and student leadership – to, yes, the home as primary educator, but also to the school where those ideas and actions are nourished, encouraged, and experienced.

And as much as I hate to use my own children as any kind of example (I almost NEVER do), I must say that on Tuesday, while our OJCS Grade 8s led our school’s Yom HaShoah Assembly, and our entire Middle School bussed to Israeli Embassy for our nation’s Yom HaShoah Commemoration, and then bussed back for a special interview with a local survivor, my older daughter was leading the first-ever Yom HaShoah Assembly at the public high school she attends. That assembly’s existence is entirely due to my daughter’s having lobbied her school’s administration. Her ability to advocate with her principal and her ability to facilitate an assembly are both directly attributable to what she gained by attending Jewish day school(s).

Remembering with our hearts is something that happens inside of us. We learn, we experience, we reflect and we feel. Not forgetting with our mouths puts action into the world. We speak, we do, we lead and we make something happen. Both are required to perfect the world. The Talmud states, “Great is study for it leads to action” (Kiddushin 40b). But is the reverse not true as well? Is it not true that action leads to study? And isn’t both at the same time the most ideal? And isn’t that what Jewish Day School is about at its most aspirational? That our students study and then put their learning into action to make the world a better place? That our students have lots of opportunity to make the world a better place and are then inspired to learn more?

I know that one primary audience for this blog is (always) current parents in my current school, but there are others. And I know that Jewish Day School will never be the preferred destination for all. And I know that not all my current students began their journeys at the beginning, and not all will stay in Jewish day school through graduation. And I know that there are all kinds reasons why that is true. And I know that each time I come out swinging too hard, I run the risk of reading as preachy or judgy.

And yet.

I also know why I implore families to attend an OJCS Graduation long before their children reach Grade 8. It is the same reason why I encourage families to read blogs and blogfolios of children in older grades. It is the same reason why we invited alumni to speak to Grade 5 Families this year.

It is why I will forever share my heart and use my voice in the service of Jewish day school. Weeks like this one and the ones to follow are why we should both remember and not forget the gifts that Jewish day schools give their students – gifts that give back to families, to schools, and to community.

As we are currently in the throes of admissions, where we have every reason to believe that we will see our school grow for a sixth consecutive year; where we move forward with our journey towards CAIS accreditation (joining only Elmwood and Ashbury from the Ottawa independent school community), where we stand poised this summer to execute the first phase of a (now) $2 million renovation to help make our physical facility as innovative and excellent as our program – let me close by thanking all the parents who entrust us with their precious children; our teachers who pour their passion into their sacred and holy work; our volunteers who give of their most valued commodity, time; our community led by our most important partner and donor the Jewish Federation of Ottawa; and our donors who give of their treasure in addition to their time and wisdom. Special thanks to all those who have joined our Life & Legacy Circle, who have ensured their legacies through securing our school’s.

The roller coaster of this holiday season has its ups and downs; may the trajectory of our school, thanks to so many, continue l’eilah u’leilah – higher and higher.

Tips for Planning Your Seder Too Good to Passover

Why am I pushing out a blog post on preparing for Passover when we just came out of a very successful “Célébration de la semaine de la Francophonie 2023” and are headed into what will surely be a very successful Innovation Day next week [Spoiler Alert! Next week’s blog topic.] with Passover yet still another week away?

Because this year I actually remembered that if anyone were to be truly be inspired by this post and wished to adequately prepare, that it would be helpful to give them enough time to actually do it! I typically post too close to Passover itself to allow anyone to put any of these ideas into practice. So, this year, I am going to push it out with even-more lead time.

Each year, I issue a blog post in service of helping people take the process of planning for seder more seriously. Why? Because I believe (know) that like anything else, good planning leads to good outcomes. And even if you are not the host, it still may be true that you are called upon to help. No pressure! I got you.

If this is your year to lead or co-lead – whether it is something you do annually, or if you are being pressed into service for the first or second time – let’s see what we can do. And even if you still maintain a Zoom guestlist, the seder is still a wonderful opportunity for families to spend time doing something they still might not otherwise do—talk with one another! The seder was originally designed to be an interactive, thought-provoking, and enjoyable talk-feast of an experience, so let’s see how we might increase the odds for making that true.

Annually Revised Top Ten suggestions on how to make this year’s seder a more positive and meaningful experience:

1. Tell the Story of the Exodus

The core mitzvah of Passover is telling the story. Until the 9^th century, there was no clear way of telling the story. In fact, there was tremendous fluidity in how the story was told. The printing press temporarily put an end to all creativity of how the story was told. But we need not limit ourselves to the words printed in the Haggadah. [This may be especially true if you have not been hosting Passover and don’t actually have haggadot. During the COVID years, mine were with my Mom – so, we dusted off some vintage ones. If you Google “online haggadot” you will find lots of options.] This could be done by means of a skit, game, or informally going around the table and sharing each person’s version of the story.

If there are older members at the table, this might be a good time to hear their “story,” and perhaps their “exodus” from whichever land they may have come. If your older members are still not able to be with you this year, you might wish to consider asking them to write or record their stories, which you could incorporate into your seder (depending on your level of observance). There may still be lots of families who will be using technology to expand their seder tables to include virtual friends and families.

2. Sing Songs

If your family enjoys singing, the seder is a fantastic time to break out those vocal cords! In addition to the traditional array of Haggadah melodies, new English songs are written each year, often to the tunes of familiar melodies. Or just spend some time on YouTube! Alternatively, for the creative and adventurous souls, consider writing your own!

3. Multiple Haggadot

For most families, I would recommend choosing one haggadah to use at the table. This is helpful in maintaining consistency and ensuring that everyone is “on the same page.” Nevertheless, it is also nice to have extra haggadot available for different commentaries and fresh interpretations. But if you are mixing-and-matching, don’t let that inhibit you from moving forward – the core elements are essentially the same from one to the other. Let the differences be opportunities for insight, not frustration.

4. Karpas of Substance

One solution to the “when are we going to eat” dilemma, is to have a “karpas of substance.” The karpas (green vegetable) is served towards the beginning of the seder, and in most homes is found in the form of celery or parsley. In truth, karpas can be eaten over any vegetable over which we say the blessing, “borei pri ha’adamah,” which praises God for “creating the fruit from the ground.” Therefore, it is often helpful to serve something more substantial to hold your guests over until the meal begins. Some suggestions for this are: potatoes, salad, and artichokes.

In a year when Passover candle-lighting times are late or children’s patience runs short or you are trying to accommodate varying time zones, you should try to eat your gefilte fish before the seder.

5. Assign Parts in Advance

In order to encourage participation in your seder, you may want to consider giving your partner, children and guests a little homework. Ask them to bring something creative to discuss, sing, or read at the table. This could be the year you go all in and come in costume – dress like an ancient Israelite or your favorite plague – don’t succumb to “Pediatric Judaism”, you are allowed to be silly and fun at all ages and stages.

6. Know Your Audience

This may seem obvious, but the success of your seder will largely depend on your careful attention to the needs of the seder guests. If you expect many young children at the seder, you ought to tailor the seder accordingly. If you have people who have never been to a seder before, be prepared for lots of basic questions and explanations. Do not underestimate your guests; if you take the seder seriously, they will likely respond positively.

7. Fun Activities

Everyone wants to have a good time at the seder. Each year, try something a little different to add some spice to the evening. Consider creating a Passover game such as Pesach Family Feud, Jewpardy, or Who Wants to be an Egyptian Millionaire?! (Again, depending on your observance level, you could also incorporate apps like Kahoot into your experience.) Go around the table and ask fun questions with serious or silly answers.

8. Questions for Discussion

Depending on the ages of your children, this one may be hard to calibrate, but because so often we are catering to the youngest at the table, it is easy to forget that an adult seder ought to raise questions that are pertinent to the themes found in the haggadah. For example, when we read “ha lachma anya—this is the bread of affliction,” why do we say that “now we are slaves?” To what aspects of our current lives are we enslaved? How can we become free? What does it mean/what are the implications of being enslaved in today’s society? How has the experience having been “locked down” during COVID and/or “freedom” from COVID impacted our sense of things? How might what is happening in the Ukraine colour our experience of Passover? How might what is happening Israel colour our experience of Passover?

We read in the haggadah, “in each generation, one is required to see to oneself as if s/he was personally redeemed from Egypt.” Why should this be the case? How do we go about doing that? If we really had such an experience, how would that affect our relationship with God?

Jon’s “Fifth Questions” for Passover 5783

Head of the Ottawa Jewish Day School: Why is this conversation about OJCS different than all other ones?

Jewish Day School Practitioner: How will I take the pedagogical brilliance of the Passover Seder and apply it to…Tu B’Shevat? Math? Science? French? How will I incorporate the lessons of the “Four Children” into our daily lesson planning?

Israel Advocate: How can I be inspired by the words, “Next Year in Jerusalem,” to inspire engagement with Israel when things in Israel are so very complicated this year?

American Expatriate in Canada: What can I learn from how my current home deals with the rise in anti-Semitism that would be of value to colleagues, family and friends in the States? What can I learn from how my former home is dealing with the rise in anti-Semitism that would be of value to colleagues, family and friends in Canada?

Parent: How will my parenting change – how will my role as a parent change – with my first child heading off to university next year? Where will she be when we say, “Next year in…” next year, and will it change how I parent?

What are some of your “Fifth Questions” this year?

9. Share Family Traditions

Part of the beauty of Passover, is the number of fascinating traditions from around the world. This year, in particular, is a great opportunity to begin a new tradition for your family. One family I know likes to go around the table and ask everyone to participate in filling the cup of Elijah. As each person pours from his/her cup into Elijah’s, s/he offers a wish/prayer for the upcoming year. What are you going try this year?

10. Preparation

The more thought and preparation given to the seder, the more successful the seder will be. That may feel challenging or overwhelming this year, but however much time and attention you can put into your planning, you won’t regret it. If you are an OJCS (or Jewish day school family), lean on your children – you paid all this money for a high-quality Jewish education, put them to work! Most importantly, don’t forget to have fun.

Wishing you and your family a very early chag kasher v’sameach…

And for OJCS Parents…we hope you are looking forward to this year’s Model Seders and other Passover Activities before we hit the Passover Break!

A Chanukah BONUS Trip Around the OJCS Blogosphere

Chag urim sameach! Happy Chanukah!

It was so wonderful to see so many of you at our Annual Chanukah Family Program last night! I’ve never seen our Gym so full! That is what it looks like with a school of nearly 200 students and their families…who knew?! The kids were amazing and it was so nice to see so many people from our OJCS Family come together to celebrate. (Check out our social and “The Hadashot” for pictures and videos from this special evening!)

I hadn’t prepared to blog an additional time prior to Winter Break, but as I’ve been poking around the OJCS Blogosphere, I saw so much Chanukah ruach that I thought I might as well take advantage of the opportunity and provide a second “Trip Around” post. [Click here if you want to revisit the trip we took earlier in the year.]

From the OJCS JK / Gan Katan Blog (click here for the full blog)

Happy Chanukah! – Posted on December 19

Today we made some beautiful unique marbelized invitations for our Chanukah show tomorrow evening! If you’re interested in the process and the science, please click here. We learned about the miracle of the ‘shemen’ (oil) on Chanukah, why shemen (oil) does not mix with mayim (water), and experimented with different kinds of paper that we called ‘thirsty’ (watercolour paper) and ‘not thirsty’ (cardstock). We also celebrated the first day of Chanukah with some singing, candle lighting, and window decorating. A very big TODAH RABAH! to Ivri’s family for bringing us a beautiful chanukiyah and some lovely candles!

Happy Chanukah!

From the OJCS Grade 1A / Kitah Alef-A Blog (click here for the full blog)

From Friday Features – Posted on December 16

Chanukah is almost here!! We can feel it in the air!

Here are some things we have been doing !

In math we have been working on different graphing activities for our math Unit on Data Management. We conducted a survey for our favourite Chanukah Treats. We are working on a booklet using 3 different types of graphs. Bar Graphs, Pictographs, and Tallie marks. We are looking forward to seeing how your family likes their Latkes, when our homework is returned on Tuesday.

From the OJCS Grade 3/ Kitah Gimmel-A Blog (click here for the full blog)

Oh Chanukah, Math-manukah – Posted on December 14

This week we took our problem solving skills and applied them to a series of Chanukah themed Math problems!

We worked on 4 different problems;

Morah Lianna made latkes for her friends and family. She fried up 72 latkes for her 18 students in 3A and all of the 35 teachers at OJCS. How many did she have left after 3A and all the teachers ate their latkes?

Morah Lianna was collecting gelt to play dreidels with. She collected 80 chocolate coins, but while she was on recess duty, Mrs. Cleveland ate 17 of them and Ms. Beswick came to take 25 of them. How many chocolate coins did Morah Lianna have left?

Morah Lianna and Cooper were getting ready to light the Chanukiah. She had 28 candles ready for the holiday, but Cooper accidentally ate 6 candles and broke 4 more. How many candles did Morah Lianna have left?

Morah Lianna was making Chanukah gift bags. She made 8 bags in total. Each bag will have 2 dreidels, 2 sufganiyot, and 5 chocolate coins. How many dreidels does Morah Lianna need to buy? How many sufganiyot does Morah Lianna need to buy? How many chocolate coins does she need to buy? What if she wanted to make 10 gift bags in total, instead of 8?

The students worked in small groups to answer their problem.

Then they all shared their thinking and reasoning in order to learn from each other! We even worked as a class to correct some of the errors we made with our Math operations (#NorthStarAlert! We Learn Better Together)

Stay tuned for next week’s Chanukah related Math problem!

Hope you enjoyed the brief tour and, I bet, if you take a peek after reading this post, you’ll see even more Chanukah joy reflected. Enjoy the last few nights of Chanukah!

BTW – if you like a playlist and a signature cocktail for your celebrations [I see you Nancy!], why don’t you go ahead and make yourself a Chanukah Gelt Martini and vibe to this playlist:

Eight Joyous Nights to Celebrate Eight Inspirational Lights

It is sometimes difficult to find new ground to tread – especially when it comes to the Jewish Holidays. There are some holidays (like Sukkot and Passover) where I kinda recycle/upgrade the same basic idea each year. [Like this and this.] There are some holidays (like Yom Kippur) where I take a basic premise or prompt and respond differently each year. [Like this.] And then there are those holidays, like Chanukah, where I kinda do a bit both, and perhaps not so artfully. Like this.

This year, I want to do something different. It will be something borrowed and something new. To the degree that Chanukah is a re(dedication); to the degree that the lights of the chanukiah are intended to serve as a public statement and an inspiration; and because the season tends to encourage a sense of gratitude, I am going to dedicate my annual Chanukah Blog Post to eight lights – either people, places or ideas – that have inspired me as a person and as a professional. By doing so, I hope to shine a light of thankfulness upon them and to light a light under me to try harder and be better. If the idea speaks to you, pick a night (or pick all eight) and identify those lights who have lit your path, and figure out a way that makes sense to you, to honor and celebrate those people and ideas who inspire you.

Night #1

I dedicate the first night to my father of blessed memory, Michael Mitzmacher. It will be ten years this summer since he has passed and it only gets better and worse each year. To learn more about my father and how his legacy has shaped and continues to shape me, please check out this blog post that I published in September of 2015 where I reflect with a little distance on his passing: Remembering My Dad.

Night #2

I dedicate the second night to my first professional mentor and role model in the field of Jewish Education, Dr. David Ackerman. We have not been in touch for quite a while, but it doesn’t diminish the impact he made on my life and my career. I don’t wear a bow-tie, but I do go by “Doc”. To learn more about the original Doc, perhaps more than you (or he!) would want to know, you can revisit this blog post from April 2011: Mentor in a Speedo.

Night #3

This night I seek to remember the life and legacy of Esther Ohayon Z”l and to revel in the strength and courage of her daughter, Orly, who survived the car crash that claimed her mother. Esther was Maytal’s teacher in Preschool and Orly is a graduate of the Martin J. Gottlieb Day School (MJGDS) where I served as Head from 2010-2014. This was one of the hardest things to write about and one of the most meaningful. I think about Orly often (not that I have told her) when I think about what it means to not only survive a tragedy, but to find a way to thrive in its aftermath. I published A Sukkah for Orly in September 2013.

Night #4

I dedicate this night to the selfless and humble example of Samuel and Esther Galinsky, names you will not recognize unless you live in Jacksonville, Florida, but a story that I hope will stick. Here is a brief snippet about them from a larger speech I gave at the celebration of the fiftieth anniversary of MJGDS:

“Samuel and Esther Galinsky were, by all accounts, modest and unassuming members of our synagogue. They participated in synagogue life and were respected members of the congregation. They cared about Jewish education, but had no children of their own. They were, in many ways, like any other couple. When they died, their friends mourned their passing. And that should be the end of the story. But it isn’t. Because this ordinary couple did something extraordinary. With no fanfare and no notice, Samuel and Esther Galinsky left the Jacksonville Jewish Center amongst the most significant gifts it has ever received – $3 million. And it was given for one purpose – this childless couple gave their fortune to ensure that Jewish children would be able to have a Jewish education. Has there ever been a more selfless gift? Have any people ever more embodied the idea of L’dor V’dor?”

Let their memory serve as an example to us all…

Night #5

This is a night to celebrate the light that lights all our schools…our teachers. A school is only as good as its teachers and good teachers feeling good about teaching is the best recipe. I think for many parents, schooling during COVID opened up a lot of eyes to how amazing our teachers are and so, here, I’d like to revisit my plea to honor and celebrate those who dedicate their lives to the sacred and holy task of educating children by asking that you read If You Really Want to Appreciate Teachers, Give Them the Benefit of the Doubt, which was published in May of 2020.

Night #6

This one will be a bit of a leap, but on this night I want to think about Killer Mike. I am a bit leery linking my January 2016 post called, Praying With Your Legs in 2016: What JDS Can Learn From Killer Mike, because re-reading it in 2022, I am not sure that I love everything that I had to say. But the money quote, the thing that I want to remember on the Sixth Night of Chanukah is,

…the second takeaway – and the one that has more applicability to Jewish day school – is Killer Mike’s proscription for how to best support underserved communities. He lays out a vision of empathy which can only be achieved through relationship. This requires us to leave our comfort zones and engage with the wider world. In Killer Mike’s context he is talking essentially about white, middle-class folk, but in it I heard echoes of a common concern families have about the ghettoization of Jewish day schools, their lack of racial diversity and the impact it has on children who will need to live, work and contribute to a multicultural world.

To make a difference in the world, I want to rededicate myself to the idea that I need to do more than engage in hashtag activism; I need to engage with people and communities outside my own.

Night #7

For night seven, I cast my eyes southward – not just south of the border, but to the actual South. As we enter our sixth year in Ottawa, I am reminded that we will soon have lived longer in Ottawa than any other place we have ever lived. It will beat out the seven years we lived in Jacksonville, Florida. For this night, I want to reflect on what made living in that community so special and reflect back that light to build upon what makes living here special as well. So there is salty taste of southern hospitality to be found in L’hitraot Y’all: A Farewell to Seven Years of SaltLife published in June of 2017.

Night #8

Chanukah is about miracles. So I will close out this holiday by reflecting on The Disruptive Miracle of Silvia Tolisano, which I wrote – in shock and tears – in March of 2021. I still cannot believe she’s gone.

Hopefully, your family is planning on joining our OJCS Family in this triumphant return to an actual, in-person Annual Chanukah Family Program on Tuesday, December 20th at 6:30 PM in the Gym!

Chag urim sameach from my family to yours!

What is Lost and What is Gained When Blessings Become Songs

[NOTE: I will be in the States next Sunday-Wednesday attending my first Fall Retreat as a rabbinic student at the Academy for Jewish Religion. I was asked to share a brief iyun about Birkat Ha’Mazon. You will find it below. It is not intended to describe what is or is not true for the children and families at OJCS; rather it is a larger observation about what I do believe is true for many children and families in the larger Jewish world.]

I’m not sure by what age I realized that all the “whoop-dee-doo”s and “sour cream”s were not officially part of the liturgy, but it was definitely older than it ought to be.

Like a lot of folk, my introduction to Birkat Ha’Mazon came at Camp (for me it was UAHC Camp Swig, of blessed memory) and what was missing by way of almost any sense of where this complex and important recitation of blessings after meals actually came from, or what it was intended to do, was made up for by way of ruach. In fact, I’d say there was an inverse relationship between the attention paid towards singing Birkat Ha’Mazon as a community-building song of ruach and the attention paid towards a religious understanding of why we take the time after eating to thank God in a very specific way for the meal we just ate.

And I don’t think this is unique to me. After about 25 years in Jewish Education, where I have worked from camps to congregations to Israel experiences to day schools – all in either Community or Conservative contexts – I feel pretty confident that the majority of children in our camps, schools, and congregations if they encounter Birkat Ha’Mazon at all, will experience it as a song with lots of changes in melody/tempo (depending on how many parts they include), lots of elaborate hand-motions, clapping and table-banging, and plenty of creative inserts, mostly innocent, occasionally not so much. And what is true for Birkat Ha’Mazon, I believe is likely true for tefillah in general. And so instead of zooming in on the particular brachot of Birkat Ha’Mazon, I want to zoom out and ask the broader question of what does it mean when our blessings and prayers are (only) experienced as songs (and largely songs without [Hebrew] comprehension).

What is gained and what is lost?

Clearly what is lost is understanding, at least more than just in the broadest sense. I assume most children know that Birkat Ha’Mazon is our way of thanking God for the food we just ate. I assume most (including adults) don’t know its Biblical source, its Rabbinic formulation, its specific blessings and themes, etc., and most don’t wrestle with either its theological implications (Do we believe in a world without the needy?) or its modern-day relevencies (What do we really know about the means of production?). What is gained if done with any regularity, I would argue, is not just ruach, but an implicit sense of ritual and structure that is largely inoperative for many of our children (and families) outside the context. They may not conceive of singing Birkat Ha’Mazon as fulfilling halakhah, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Where does that leave those of us tasked with inspiring children and families to take on (what for most are) non-normative practices like daily brachot and tefillah? If ruach to prayer is like the traditional placement of honey on the alef-bet, then, yes, absolutely let the sweetness and joy of communal singing be the price of admission, and don’t sweat the mild dispresect that comes as its cost. But let’s not let that be the end either!

My takeaway from having been asked to prepare this iyun is to bring a version of it back to my school. If our students can prepare weekly divrei torah (which they can and do), let’s see if once a month a student can prepare an iyun Birkat Ha’Mazon and by doing so, make our lunchtime tables not just a place for raucous singing, but also a place for meaning and reflection. What might you do in your context? Can’t wait to find out…

OJCS Marks Clean Speech 2022 – Clean Speech Contributes to a Community of Kindness

November is “Clean Speech” Month in Ottawa, and OJCS is proud to be one of the many organizations participating in this annual attempt to elevate our language in service of creating and sustaining communities of kindness. In addition to what we will be doing in school (check the blogs!), I thought I would kick things off by connecting the dots backwards to two posts from last year and then forward to this year.

Last year, I took a bit of risk by asking the question, “Does the school (Do I) have responsibility for how our students behave outside of school?”. And I answer, “yes” – with my focus being on how the school ought to address what our students do outside of school, when they come back inside. A couple of months later, I asked a bit more provocative of a question, “What responsibility do parents play in this, and what ought the school do to facilitate constructive parent behavior?”. And I kinda answered, but also kinda dodged because that is both a hard question to answer and a chutzpahdik question for the school (me) to answer.

Fast-forwarding into this year, children continuing to be children, parent continuing to be parents, humans continuing to be humans – becoming evermore kind is a process, not a destination. As a few things bubbled up in a particular cohort, I wound up sending an email to parents that was more specific than what I had blogged out in answer to my own question. Not a few parents/teachers suggested that that message was more than appropriate for the school as a whole, not simply that cohort, and so let me use this launching of Clean Speech Ottawa 2022, as the opportunity to share this message more widely.

From time to time, even when it feels a bit uncomfortable, I feel a responsibility to reach out to parents to raise awareness when the conversations and activities that take place outside school follow our children back inside. There are two ways that this typically happens, which I’d like to share with you in the spirit of strengthening our community.

The first is to simply name that there are official and unofficial channels of communication. For example, the school provides a Google Group of parent emails and uses it to communicate with all parents in the grade – that’s an official channel. Almost always, parents create their own, unofficial channels, like a parent’s WhatsApp. There are lots of good reasons for parents to do this! The school does not need or want to be a party or privy to each and every conversation parents wish to have with each other. (We do assume healthy and constructive conversations are taking place there, both in terms of how parents engage with each other and about school in general.) Sometimes, however, subgroups of parents may create additional unofficial channels which may not be so inclusive. We might be able to understand why that could be true, but generally do not prefer them.

Why?

Because it is almost 100% true that everything that lands in any unofficial channel will wind up being heard by everyone – whether they are in the channel or not. Meaning, you should assume that anything you say in the unofficial Grade Whatever Parent WhatsApp will find its way to the school. And, anything that you say in an unofficial subgroup of parents in a separate WhatsApp will find its way to all the parents in the grade.

How do we know?

Because it happens all the time. Hurtful statements eventually find their way to their objects which only causes more harm and never leads to good outcomes. We simply ask that you treat these communications as if they could be read by all and act accordingly.

In a similar vein, parenting is a complex and noisy endeavor. Our children are sponges – they hear and absorb everything that is said. They are also eager sharers – they like to share everything they hear. This means, if your children hear you discussing other children – innocently or not; intentionally or not – they are going to come to school and let everyone know, including those children, about how you feel and what you have said.

How do we know?

Because it is happens all the time.

Parenting is hard and getting harder all the time. Let this be a gentle reminder about how our words tend to take on a life of their own, sometimes with uncomfortable outcomes. And let this be a request for partnership – we ask that you please be careful about how you discuss school matters with other parents and with (or in front of) your children. There are appropriate channels – official and unofficial – for expressing concerns, making requests, sharing frustrations, venting, asking questions or anything else a parent may need or want to do.

Let’s work together to ensure that our children get to come to school each day with fresh starts and positive attitudes. They have so much goodness in them and ahead of them, as individuals and as a group.

Stay tuned for a Parent Survey about our as-promised new offerings for both French and Jewish Studies after-school programming! We are working with the JCC, and we look forward to seeing what we can offer.

Let’s Talk About the “J” in “OJCS”…Again: The JS Town Hall 2022

As discussed, connected to our larger theme this year of “Getting Our Mojo Back”, last night we held the first of our three critical conversations this year that will both hearken back to give everyone equal footing and dream forward to give everyone an equal stake. Last night’s “town hall” was dedicated to the school’s Jewish Journey these last six or so years, and thank you to the parents who turned out to listen and to share. [For those of you who might have participated had we had made a virtual option available, please know that there will be occasions when we do go hybrid. We just felt/feel that for these conversations, it is easier to navigate live.]

What I’d like to do here, is provide a kind of annotated guide to the slides that were presented – layering in a bit of my own commentary – and ending with both some proposed next steps and opportunities for onboarding more questions and feedback from more parents. Parent voice is critical to our ability to dream big dreams since you, our parents, are our most important stakeholder community and partner. I am making a plea, here, while my word count is still under 200, to please add your voice to the conversation in whichever way is comfortable for you – comment on this blog, shoot me a private email, or make an appointment to come in. This takes the village.

We began by turning the clock back to 2017 or so to remind ourselves of where our journey began. Looking back is never intended to be disrespectful or disparaging of what was – there were, of course, lots of good things happening prior to my arrival (this is not about me!) – but we do want to be honest about what was true. So here’s…

Again, this did not mean that we did not have excellent teachers or that teachers simply showed up each day without having planned their lessons. We did and they did not. But it is fair to say that we had done the work of clarifying much about our program as a whole – its ultimate benchmarks and standards when it comes to academics, and its mission and vision as a “Community” school.

That’s pretty straightforward. That’s how much time we spent in Jewish Studies and how they were divided. What jumps out in the K-5 is the decoupled nature of “Hebrew” and “Jewish Studies” and the mirroring of French in terms of when streaming took place and what we called it.

It is hard to measure outcomes without data. But pay attention to those bullet points because the fact they were flagged then by parents as being of utmost concern absolutely guided what happened next. [That’s why adding your voices now is paramount! We really do act based on what you tell us!]

OK, that is what was true at the time. So…

We had a big task in front of us! Remember – or, know – that unlike in General or French Studies there are no external standards, curricula, or philosophies for Jewish Day Schools (of any type). It is up to each school to make these decisions – schedule, curriculum, and clarifying what kind of “Community Day School” to be – important and exciting work indeed. So…

How did we begin the work? DATA!

But also…

One of my great joys is that we have managed to create a space where each pulpit rabbi in our community is willing and able to sit around one table to engage in debates and disputes that are truly “for the sake of Heaven”.

So once we collected data, what did we wind up doing, beginning in the 2019-2020 school year?

That was quite a lot! And since then what else…

Great that’s what we have done as a result of all the feedback and work over the last few years. But…

We are very excited about these current initiatives and look forward to sharing back updates, results, gleanings and deliverables as each of these initiatives and programs starts to take shape. That first bullet point hearkens all the way back to the first slide or so and closing that loop is among our highest priorities. It is a huge task and hugely important – so no promises on anything other than transparency as to its process and a pledge to share whatever we can, as soon as we can.

But that’s just today! We have also been thinking about…

That second bullet point is where you start to come in. As will be true with French, in the weeks ahead we will be reaching out to parents to better understand what kinds of before- and after-school classes and experiences we might offer or be willing to host that may help to either fill gaps or simply enhance our Jewish Studies Program for all our families or, if desired, subcommunities of our families. We really want to make sure we are doing whatever we can to meet needs in whatever ways we realistically can. We do not have time to offer every possible Jewish Studies course or experience, but if we can partner with our parents to add what we can, when we can, it will be a win-win. Stay tuned!

And finally, because I believe in naming those things which need to be named, let me acknowledge what I believe to be…

When we did this last, Hebrew was the priority and, to be fair, it is part of our mission. But it is reasonable to ask the question of whether that is still true and to acknowledge that it comes at a cost. And we definitely know that there are a variety of opinions about how much time we could and should spend in Jewish Studies – and I encourage an expansive view of that, including both academic class time and experiences.

One interesting piece of feedback that came from the town hall was that maybe, just maybe, there is an appetite for extending the school day to make the task of delivering a high-quality trilingual program a bit more attainable? Do you think that’s true?

And finally, here are some big-picture questions we will be wrestling with as we go about dreaming the next dream for strengthening the “J” in “OJCS”…

So…let me repeat that parent voice is critical to our ability to dream big dreams since you, our parents, are our most important stakeholder community and partner. I am making a plea, here, while my word count is now well over 1,000, to please add your voice to the conversation in whichever way is comfortable for you – comment on this blog, shoot me a private email, or make an appointment to come in.

This takes the village.

Please be sure to join us for our next Critical Conversation, “L’assembleé de Français – What is currently true about our French outcomes and what can parents expect moving forward?” on Thursday, November 24th at 7:00 PM.

A Non-Judgy Plea for Sukkot

If you have read, or are at least familiar with, my blog, you know that for years and years, I push out a pre-Sukkot plea for families to treat the joy of Sukkot with the same degree of intentionality as they tend to do for the solemnity of Yom Kippur. Part of why these posts (click here and here for recent examples), tend to be so cookie-cuttered is that I don’t know how else to formulate either the question or the answer. And so maybe that’s on me. Perhaps it is my failure of imagination that is preventing me from either better identifying the core issue or better deriving a meaningful response. I’m open to that. But as I sit here, coming out of Yom Kippur and preparing for Sukkot, I am uneasy. I don’t know how else to approach the matter that doesn’t leave me tilting at windmills or spitting into the wind. One thought that I am left with, that I will attempt to name here, is that perhaps it isn’t the content of the message that fails to land, but the tone.

I am not a rabbi (at least not yet!) and (, regardless,) the school is not my pulpit. That doesn’t mean that I am unwilling or unable to say hard things when necessary. But, perhaps, it does mean that my “bully pulpit” requires me to stay in what is more reasonably understood to be “my lane” – and that how a family chooses to celebrate (or not) Jewish holidays is not it. Maybe. I’d prefer to split the baby a bit and suggest that as a Jewish day school with “Inspiring Jewish Journeys” as a North Star, that the subject is appropriate. But, equally true, is that I have a responsibility to deliver a message less preachy. So. In that spirit, let me make a positive, non-judgemental pitch for making room for Sukkot in your cycle of Jewish celebrations.

On the school side of things, we are definitely looking forward to celebrating Sukkot at school with the assistance of our OJCS Sukkah [to be finished this week] (with great thanks to the Zaret Family & Gemstone), in which we look forward to eating, celebrating, shake-shake-shaking and hopping in as a school community when we resume school during Chol Ha’Moed next Wednesday. Great thanks to all our teachers for the hard work that goes into holiday preparation/celebration and keeping the normal routines of school moving forward as per usual.

But what about the two days of school we are closed? [I’ll share some corresponding thoughts about the next two days we are closed next week.]

If the idea of building a sukkah is either overwhelming or unrealistic at this time, in the spirit of trying to turn etrogs into etrog-ade, let me invite you to think of this year as an opportunity to pick one new tradition to experiment with. Shake a lulav and etrog. Eat in the sukkah (or in something sukkah-adjacent). Attend or livestream a service. Ask your child(ren)’s Jewish Studies Teacher(s) to send home. Come use the OJCS Sukkah. Come borrow OJCS lulav and etrogs.

How can I help? What can I do? These are actual questions – email me and it would be greatest pleasure. My sukkah doors are open as well. Literally, be my guest. If our children – if we – only experience the Judaism of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and not the Judaism of Sukkot, the simple truth is that we are not exposing them to the full range of beauty and joy that our tradition has to offer. Let this Sukkot truly be the season of our great rejoicing. I hope many students find their way to synagogue and into sukkot this Sukkot. I hope many parents push themselves out of their comfort zones and join the fun. But most importantly, I hope we – OJCS – is up to the task of educating, inspiring and working in partnership with our families so that those who wish to, are able to add Sukkot as a next stop on their Jewish journeys.

Chag sameach!

By the way, speaking of trying to be “non-judgy”, I don’t want to assume that the many families who already celebrate Sukkot – in whatever ways – aren’t also worthy of our school’s partnership! Many, many OJCS families will be in synagogue and sukkot and, of course, if there are ways that our school can work in partnership to amplify their Sukkot experiences, we should be equally focused and desirous of being called-upon for them as well. If you are in this camp, I ask you, too, to let us know how we can be a better partner for your family, if not for next week then in future years.

The 2022 OJCS Middle School Retreat: Friendship is Magic (Getting Our Mojo Back)

We did it!

After a couple of years of COVID-friendly day trips in lieu, our Fifth Annual OJCS Middle School Retreat was a triumphant return to Camp B’nai Brith of Ottawa and a return to the true spirit and format of what this experience is supposed both be and mean. Our theme for The 2022 Middle School Retreat was the same as it was for Faculty Pre-Planning Week as it is for the whole school for the whole year: “Getting Our Mojo Back”. Over three days, we engaged in three different peulot (informal Jewish educational programs) where our students, by class, by grade, and as a full middle school had a chance to review and lean into the Jewish values that will enable us to maintain and grow a healthy and constructive middle school community and culture. I sometimes think that our school culture is a three-legged stool, with our North Stars, our “7 Habits” and our Jewish Values keeping us steady and stable. I was very impressed by the level of engagement and the quality of conversation – whether we were inside, outside, sleepy or wide awake – that our students contributed to this part of the experience.

Here’s a snapshot (or 12) of our experience:

Day #1

Our day got started at school and we were quickly on our way to CBB by about 9:00 AM. We arrived at Camp by about 10:00 AM, unpacked the bus, moved into cabins and enjoyed some free time and an opportunity to sample some of the recreational activities campers enjoy at CBB during the summer. We then had lunch and moved into our activities for the day…

As has become our tradition, the first thing we do on the Middle School Retreat are a set of fun, team-building activities planned and led by our Grade 8s:

[You can check out the school’s social media for some exciting tug-of-war videos!]

After that we moved into our first of three peulot (activities) for the Retreat. We used the peulot to explore Jewish notions of “friendship” and “community”. The first one was about Lashon Ha’Rah (Gossip) and how we can do a better job of observing the mitzvah of Lo Lashon Ha’Rah (Not Gossiping). We explored a little text, did a little role-play and each grade recorded a 90-second PSA that we will look forward to sharing.

After the peulah we were ready for more free time and to get ready for dinner. After dinner we went into our second peulah. This one was about the Jewish value of Hokheah Tokhiah, which literally means “reproof”, but is shorthand for dealing with “conflict resolution”. Again, we studied some text, did a few role-plays, learned a little about Martin Buber‘s concept of “I-It / I-Thou”, and practiced healthy ways we can navigate conflict.

Day #2

This morning we woke up bright and early and enjoyed a yummy bagel breakfast!

From there we went on a brief nature-themed Tefillah experience where we chose a location at CBB that best exemplified the “big idea” of each prayer. For example, for the Yotzer which celebrates Creation, we climbed onto a balcony to revel in the beauty of the great outdoors.

After Tefillah, we packed up, boarded the buses and headed off to Caverne Laflèche par Arbraska for our main event! We were split into groups and alternated between exploring the caves…

…and enjoying a ropes course and zipline adventure!

After all that adventure, we…

…headed back to camp and got ready for a yummy BBQ of hamburgers, hot dogs and chicken wings.

…played a game of Capture the Flag.

…built a campfire and did classic campfire things.

Day #3

We began the day with a spirited (bit-too-early) Kabbalat Shabbat and then moved into our final peulah of the retreat, “Dilemmas of Friendship,” which tried to tie together the themes of the retreat and set us up to be a healthy Middle School Community upon our return.

We then cleaned up our cabins and the camp, packed and loaded up the bus, and headed out to Gatineau Park for lunch and a hike.

We then boarded the bus and headed back to OJCS!

Speaking of “triumphant returns” – please join us for our in-person “Back to School Night” taking place on Wednesday, September 21st from 7:00 – 8:30 PM. (Although we are not offering a hybrid experience, materials will be made available to parents who are unable to join us.)

Will I have time to squeeze out my annual pun-tastic High Holiday post before Rosh Hashanah? Stay tuned!